This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy ha-............nom nom nom

I had to take a moment and meditate to ENHANCE MY CALM before attempting to blog on this topic; I didn’t want to get all riled up mid-way and cause the cataclysmic apocalypse before its due time; December 21, 2012 .........of course.

Now I thoroughly enjoy eating my scrumpdiliumptuous vegetables, fruits, fish, poultry, meat, or dairy. I have no allergies to worry about fortunately and as a result I take full advantage of it. I don’t like waste and I am an avid believer in a healthy lifestyle and recycling. However, if you hunt animals for sport and you don’t put every morsel of the creatures life in which you just took to use, its simple, you deserve to die. Go forth into oncoming traffic amigo, close your eyes, relax and just……..let it happen.

OK, so back to the point at hand as I tend to drift ever so often. Whilst you, the vegan, the Muslim, the Rastafarian, the anti-pork activist because-I-can’t-get-a-belief-of-my-own dine quietly on YOUR choice of a meal, do you see me chanting fire upon it? Am I behind your back while you dine (and in most cases when it’s done by you all, failed attempts) to make your meal most unpleasant? NO…Do I laugh at a man that eats veggie chunks which has substantial levels of estrogen in it unbeknownst to him when he gets moobs? (man boobs) No I don’t. I want everyone to enjoy their food.

We are given few extreme pleasures in life and food, FOOD, is one of them. The pork in my plate is considered as my food, leave me alone or I will throw it at you. Well, no, that would be wasting it and not to mention my entire digestive system would revolt. Everyone is on their own path in life and if my path is the way of the pork, so be it.

For those of you who think pork is unclean, I’ve heard all the stories and you frankly don’t want to hear mine about other meats. Don’t worry, I’m sure the hydrochloric acid in my stomach can handle it. However, I shall not ruin your culinary delights by divulging said unpleasant details about your precious fish, crab, chicken etc etc etc and for those of you who actually don’t seek to eat organically grown, HA! Just continue to bless your food before you eat it. Leave others to enjoy their food, all the flavors it offers, all the masticating excitement it creates.

Pork can be cooked healthily and tastily in a myriad of delicious ways. Every meat has to be cooked to a certain temperature before it can be considered entirely safe for human consumption for a variety of reasons that I rather not get into now and every method of cooking pork is quite easily capable of this. At which point is what I’m eating more dangerous than your precious amm chicken? I am not here to make statements against the Bible or other religious beliefs, I don't discuss Religion or politics, I am here to blog about food; How to tastily and healthily cook it and because neither human has dominion over the other why they should really keep their comments to themselves. 

The recommended internal temperature to consider Pork properly cooked is an average of 170 degrees Fahrenheit. Removing the fat and grilling your pork pieces is one of the healthiest ways to cook it. Certain cuts of beef, lamb and veal have an average recommended internal temperature of at least 145 degrees Fahrenheit to be considered properly cooked as well.

If I ever become a vegetarian, hey its possible, and I may become one sooner than I think, the world can rest assured that I will not be standing on a pulpit with a megaphone preaching unto others to do the same. I will not make faces when you are dining on what YOU want to eat. I will not symbolically make my fingers into a cross as though your food is 'vampiric' and you should scamper away into darkness. I only promote eating in healthy, nutritious portions. It is your choice to eat whatever item you want and your right to enjoy it!!

Ok vegans and anti porkies…..on your marks, get set, GO!

Which side are you on?

One of the most paramount questions that you will ever be asked and in most cases will define your future is. Breast and wing? Or Leg and Thigh?

Chicken is one of the cheapest and most globally accepted meats for consumption for those of us who don’t worship or denounce this animal. I know that there are those of us who in fact worship and/or denounce the drool worthy, finger-licking, going-for-secondsing beautiful animals of the world, but hey that’s your choice, NOT mine! I am indeed an animal lover, but thats another story. I for one, when choosing to dine on this oh so economical clucker, love me some breast. I will indeed go to great lengths and strides to get it. “Oh you serve cut-up chicken only? No worries, excuse me miss, when plating my food, could you please find the breast pieces only....I’m allergic to the leg and thigh, if I eat it I will die.”

Many Jamaicans tend to choose leg and thigh, particularly because it’s cheaper for a restaurant to buy and /or most say it’s more flavourful and the breast piece is dry. This is not so! Who has been cooking your breasts? A breast doesn’t take as long to cook as a thigh, so most people happen to get over-cooked breasts, and it has been said a Jamaican will cook its meat until it is dead.

Personally, I wonder, why eat chicken if you’re not going to eat the breast. It is the meatiest, healthiest, most moist and tastiest part when cooked right! Confession; I don’t even know how to tackle a thigh, where to bite first, how to navigate through the dark, fatty, veiny meat. As a qualified chef, I can debone an entire chicken in less than 10 minutes, leaving it still attached whole, but for the life of me, can I eat a thigh in under the same time? No.

I can list at least 6 reasons from the top of my head why breast is just, better than thigh:

1. It has a higher protein to fat ratio = healthier piece of chicken. 
2. I don’t have to dodge veins. 
3. There are no major obstructing bones. 
4. There is more meat on a breast. Why eat an animal, if not for the meat. 
5. Breast is to the point, thigh is a mystery, and you never know what’s around the corner. 
6. And, just because.

Either way, time and time again, I’ve seen many people lash out because they have not gotten their preferred part of the chicken. It seems to be a serious issue. Have you ever seen a very, very, hungry construction worker throw away his food because it did not include the part of the chicken he wanted? I have seen it! It’s like seeing a Unicorn and Pegasus mate. I have also seen on many occasions as I am sure you have all seen, an infuriated individual carrying back their KFC bag into the premises because “the fucking eediat get my order wrong.” 

There are those of you who will object to my stand against thigh and leg, mostly thigh, and I’m sure you have your reasons, if you are THAT passionate, maybe you need to blog about it.....

Below is one of my favourite chicken breast recipes. Remember, before you cook a chicken, rinse it off with vinegar, lemon or lime juice (rinse after that with water to get rid of a citric “orangey” flavour that may linger even after cooked). This process is quick, easy and reduces the level of pathogens present, especially those that spread the very popular Salmonella virus.

Chicken Parmesan Recipe

Ingredients

Sauce:

• 1/2 large yellow onion
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 medium garlic cloves, peeled and minced
• 1 can (28 oz) crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• Pinch of red pepper flakes
• Pinch of sugar

Chicken:

• 4 chicken breast cutlets (1 1/4 to 1 1/2 pounds total)
• Salt to taste
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup breadcrumbs
• 1 ¼ cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 Tbsp fresh basil leaves, thinly sliced
• 8 ounces mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced

Method

1 Prepare the sauce. Coarsely grate half of an onion. Grating the onion will create smaller onion pieces and release more of the onion's juices, and is faster than chopping. Heat olive oil in a saucepan on medium-high heat. Add the onions and sauté for 2-3 minutes. Add the minced garlic. Cook until fragrant, about a minute more. Then add the tomatoes, oregano, red pepper flakes, and sugar. Bring to a simmer, reduce the heat to maintain the simmer. Cook, uncovered while you prepare the chicken (about 10-12 minutes).

2 Preheat oven to 400°F. Working one at a time, place a chicken cutlet between two layers of wax paper (or plastic wrap). With a meat pounder, pound the chicken pieces to flatten them to an even thickness - between 1/4 - 1/2 inch. (If you don't have a meat pounder, you can use a rubber mallet, an empty wine bottle, or a heavy rolling pin.) Salt the chicken pieces well.

3 In a shallow bowl (large enough to dredge the cutlets), mix together the breadcrumbs, 1/2 cup of the Parmesan, and pinch of salt. In separate shallow bowl, whisk together the eggs.

4 Heat 1/4 cup of olive oil in a large sauté pan on medium-high heat. The oil should be shimmering, not smoking. Dredge the chicken pieces 1 piece at a time first in the egg mixture, then in the breadcrumbs. Then lay the pieces in the hot sauté pan. Turn the heat to medium, then gently fry the cutlets until they are golden brown, about 3-4 minutes per side. 

5 Spread enough tomato sauce to thickly coat the bottom of 9x13 casserole pan or baking dish. Once the cutlets are browned on both sides, arrange them on top of the tomato sauce in the baking dish. Place sauce over each of the cutlets. Sprinkle the tops with sliced basil. Then top the cutlets with slices of mozzarella and the remaining Parmesan cheese.

6 Bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes, or until the mozzarella begins to brown.

Serve with spaghetti and the remaining sauce, or in a large roll. If at this point you want to redeem yourself after slabbing on all the cheese and scrumptious goodness, use wheat spaghetti or wheat rolls. (Serves 4)

Happy Eating!

ahhhhh.......F#%K IT!

You’re just leaving a club or party at the wee hours of the morn and there's ONE thing on your mind….well, maybe two things, however, I'm talking about FOOD here people, and if you’re like me you are already trying to run through a list of all the places open.

 In Jamaica, especially Kingston you can perhaps list a handful of places serving food at the stomach raping 4:30 am. While some of us are off to our night restaurants; Burger King, KFC, Chelsea, Island Grill, 'Night Spot' among others, there are those of us who are off to the preferred pan chicken man on the side of the road. But before you start digging in and licking your fingers, have you ever stopped to think, where does this man wash his hands? or how does he keep his area sanitary? Does he even have running water? or a designated area for garbage solely? What from Narnia's closet is under his nails? There are quite a few health risks those of us who choose to dine from street side vendors are faced with.

It is very important to have a strong immune system simply for health survival purposes. For the "obsessively compulsive germaphobes" here are a few pointers one could check-out-when-eating-out:

• The overall LOOK, FEEL, and SMELL of the place…if it doesn’t seem right….it more ‘n likely isn’t, trust your gut before your gut never trusts you again.

• If a ball of hay rolls pass before you dine and the place seems rather deserted, no you have not discovered the IT spot to eat at before everyone else....get out and get out quickly. If barely anyone dines at this restaurant, and its BEEN open for business, there's usually a reason.  

• Having worked in the hospitality and food service industry for quite a few years, I always wipe my cutlery before use…take it from me, this may be a habit you’d wanna get into. NO restaurant is exempt, 5 star to no star.

• Ideally, running water should be available wherever you decide to eat from. People must be able to wash their hands…..with soap. This is ONE of the most important things you have to do in LIFE! There have been many diseases and viruses linked to the non washing of hands throughout history and presently.  I am not a firm believer in the overly hygienic “anti-bacterial gel/wipe” trend, unless there is absolutely no way for me to wash my hands at the moment. Why you ask? The extensive use of anti-bacterials in this day and age have been proven to cause “SUPER” bacteria….I don’t need to help in the development of any bacteria stronger than what my immune system can barely manage.  Am I preaching? AMEN

• Try to not sit too close to the restroom, I don’t need to spell out why right? See no evil, hear no evil…. smell no evil? Best to sit where your experience will be most pleasant and hygienic.

Either way, after drunkenly arguing with the pan chicken man; why I couldn’t get another slice of bread or when since a ¼ of chicken cost that or why he only has pineapple soda and no pepsi to sell me, I’ve finally acquired my meal.  Taking a relatively quick glance around at the slew of men fully enthralled in what seems to be THE conversation of the minute OVER the chicken on the flame, a few dogs (literally) chilling out a couple feet away, I take a look at my beautifully wrapped in foil chicken present and think….ahhh fuck it and I devour away. What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger…..I hope.

How to Keep The Fat Bitch Within

I am not a certified professional, however I have certified experiences.

Not everyone is built the same and as a result not any and every method will work, but one thing is certain and has proven results; consistency. In anything that you do to lose weight or keep healthy you must be consistent in order to see any results. You didn't get 'unfit' in a day, so why in Gods good name do you think you can get fit in a day.....Patience my friends...remain consistent!

I for one have had many ungodly food cravings and I must confess; overindulged on quite a few guilt ridden occasions. I have gone through that 'female depression' of not being able to fit into my clothes from LAST YEAR, the unhealthy dieting, the constant and annoying "hunny do I look fat in this?" among many others to say the least.

So overtime, I have developed a few 'commandments,' that being consistent with, have helped me tremendously in being comfortable with my body and feeling healthy....for the most part.

• Never, I repeat, never try on clothes after you eat or when that time of the month is nigh!....good lord man, why would you do that to yourself? 

• If you're gonna cheat, and by cheat I mean on your diet or have something remotely unhealthy, do it at breakfast. Why? you will have enough time to burn off those rogue calories throughout the day.

• Walk/run/jog/elevate your heart rate for a constant 20-30 minutes daily ATLEAST 4 days a week (yes out of the seven we are currently said to have)

• Moderation! sounds like a cliche, but yes, everything in moderation. Try not to overindulge; your eyes may just be bigger than your belly, change the size of your plates if you have to, and eat SLOWER. Eating slowly gives your stomach enough time to decide whether or not its full, sending this message to the brain, therefore giving you that full feeling before its too late and ya you've over eaten and 'ethnic' fatigue has sent its minions to destroy you.

• Don't give in to allllll of your cravings....throughout the days I can crave everything known to man, but for all you pasta, bread, rice, pastry, carbs, carbs, carbs loving people, you must have discipline. Carbohydrates arent all bad, if you must indulge try complex carbs instead. Because (yes i'm starting a sentence with because, BECAUSE its my blog) simple carbs break down into sugar, which is preferred by the body to use as energy, therefore the fat being stored, which should be the body's energy source REMAINS.....yep...stuck on your thighs/tummy etc. It has been scientifically proven that exercise inhibits these cravings, while boredom can be its catalyst....chew gum if you have to....it helps!

• Like they say...at breakfast you should eat like a king, at lunch like a prince and by dinner like a pauper....this saying is wise beyond its years...try n stick to it.

• DO NOT starve yourself....never do this! it makes no sense. When you starve yourself your body goes into starvation mode, it freaks out, holds on to as much fat as it can for survival purposes, and whenever you eat again it tries to save the fat in that meal as well, because it now thinks that hey! I may never get food again or for awhile....save the fat it says!....now YOU'RE stuck with it.

• If you must eat after the legendary and daunting 6pm, eat a very small portion and wait at least 2 hours before lying down and going to sleep...yea i said it...2 HOURS.

• Drink lots of water; it has no calories, it can quench your thirst, it does wonders for your skin amongst many other things, it also reduces the appearance of cellulite, cell-u-lite, uhuh..can you imagine that? suweeeet....Not to mention, your body is made up of mostly water....DO YOU NEED A BIGGER SIGN THAN THAT?

• Posture! having a good posture, will instantly take at least 5 lbs off your appearance....try it..go look in the mirror and see for yourself.

• Keep those stomach muscles firm! you've surely heard the saying "tuck een yu belly," well wherever you are and whatever time it is...keep those muscles toight!

• Regularity is a must, go and get that extra fibre if you have to. It has been scientifically proven that the intestines can store a lot of digested food...in excess of over 9lbs....eww, are you full of shit?

• Show me your friends and I tell you who you are? not necessarily......If you hang out with "fluffy" friends, you may not feel the need to follow a, lets say, healthier lifestyle, because perhaps in your eyes you have a long way to go, so you let yourself go...oh no no no OR If you have friends on the slimmer side of life, and you want to"fit in" you may try unhealthy methods of weight loss. Its not ONLY about weight loss but about your health as well.......so, whoever you hang with it must be your decision and yours alone to be healthy (not even the boyfriend must have control on your thoughts about yourself)... after-all it is indeed YOUR body. LOVE the skin you're in.

Till next time....